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Taming the Beast:
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| Excessive parental involvement in youth sports. |
Despite
the presence of family members and younger siblings, some parents
display conduct unbecoming at youth sports venues. Reports of inappropriate
and disturbing behavior by adults whose children participate in
sport leagues are on the rise (Butler, 1999; Carlozo, 2000, cited
in Enigk, 2002). A stark example is the tragic incident that resulted
in the death of Michael Costin, a little league hockey coach who
was savagely beaten by a parent, Thomas Junta, after a particularly
rough practice session (Nack & Munson, 2000). This incident
has revitalized the national debate about the effects of excessive
parental involvement in youth sports. League organizers and their
sponsoring institutions are in agreement that urgent steps need
to be taken to rein in parents involved in abusive and at times
violent conduct toward officials, rival team parents, athletes,
coaches, and too often, their own children (Bigelow, 2001; Cumming
& Ewing, 2002; Fiore, 2003; Heinzmann, 2002; Herbert, 2000;
Nack & Munson, 2000; Wolohan, 2002).
| Youth sports parents are the most dedicated and emotionally invested. |
At first glance, it may seem counterintuitive that adults would display some of the fiercest emotions and acts of hostility at youth sports events. Yet, as Herbst (2000) rightly observed, of all fans, youth sports parents are the most dedicated and emotionally invested. Following is a list of possible reasons for the observed erosion of civil conduct at youth sports events:
- Nationwide, each year more than 30 million children, 4.5 million coaches, and 1.5 million administrators take part in a variety of youth sports programs. The yearly incidence of diagnosable mental disorders among the U.S. adult population is estimated at 22 to 23 percent (Kessler et al., 1994, 1996; Regier et al., 1993). Some two percent have a Borderline Personality Disorder (Swartz, Blazer, George, & Winfield,1990). Assuming that as a group, sport parents represent the general population's rate of mental and/or addictive disorders, one may predict that as many as 120,000 to 1.3 of the 6 million sport parents and administrators that work with or around kids may be afflicted by some acute mental disorder.
- To become involved, an adult needs to sign up, undergo a background check, and take part in at least one mandatory pre-league workshop. Still, violent and abusive adults with no criminal records are hard to detect and screen out without additional measures.
- While classroom teachers spend 4-6 years preparing for their role, most sport parents spend one evening or weekend day in training before taking charge. It is little wonder that a majority of well-meaning sport parents possess little or no knowledge of the emotional, psychological, social and physical needs of the children under their leadership.
- A steady expansion coupled with high attrition rates makes it increasingly difficult to keep all involved on the same page, as evidenced by numerous heated encounters on the sidelines. Such exchanges could be easily avoided if coaches, referees, or parent-spectators simply knew and followed the rules.
- The dynamics of league expansion and change contribute to a growing gap between the "hard core" and the "new" sport parents. It is unenlightened activism rather than sensitivity to and understanding of children's needs that appears to shape the practice in certain children leagues.
- Started by well-intentioned adults, sport leagues evolve into commercialized and highly competitive enterprises. In such environments, the spotlight tends to shift away from the kids as the drama of the "ego wars" between the adults in charge unfolds. A self-imposed pressure to win drives some coaches and the parents they serve to (a) engage in unethical and illegal recruiting (Frankl, 2002; Howe, 2002), (b) conduct excessive practices, (c) schedule too many games and tournaments, (d) emphasize early specialization, and (e) implement favoritism (Frankl, 2003).
- A
growing number of parents that initially embraced the league experience
with great enthusiasm are caught in the "trap" of emotional
and financial over-involvement. Lee (1993) identified two types of
"hard core" parents: (a) the "excitable parents"
-- loud, dramatic, overly protective, and self-absorbed; and (b) the
"fanatical parents" -- controlling, confrontational, hard
to please, preoccupied with winning and losing. Actions of fanatical
parents are particularly disturbing since they tend to dominate their
children's sport experience, imposing on them unreasonable expectations.
Disruptive to the league experience, fanatic parents do the greatest
damage to their families and children. Highly stressed and resentful
of being tagged as troublemakers, many children of intense sport parents
end up losing interest in sports and eventually drop out altogether
(Buzby, 2000; Engh, 1999; Feigley, 1984; Vallerand, Deci, & Ryan,
1987).
| Parenting is a most challenging task. |
Youth sports programs and the many unique opportunities they present to tens of millions of children could not have existed if it were not for the hard work and the sacrifices made by millions of devoted parents. Cumming & Ewing (2002) point out that parents should be encouraged to support and show interest in their child's sport pursuits, but they also caution sport parents to keep their involvement in a proper perspective. While no single writer has clearly identified the line that separates involved from over-involved sport parents, many have proposed steps that if closely followed, greatly reduce the risk of landing the parent on the "wrong side of the tracks" (e.g., Abrams, 2002; Arland ,2002; Bach, 2002; Bigelow, Moroney, & Hall, 2001; Engh, 1999; Fiore, 2003; Frankl, 2002, 2003; Gano-Overway, 2001; Herbert , 2000; Huddleston, 2000; Kamm, 1998; Kanters, 2002; Kanters, & Tebbutt, 2001; Popke, 2000; Votano, 2000; Western Australia, Department of Sport and Recreation, 2002; Youth Incorporated, 2003).
Parenting is a most challenging task. The added burden of sport parenting may be overwhelming for many parents. As the level of competition increases, one's control over the situation diminishes. The fact that a child's every move is in plain view and under constant scrutiny is yet another source of stress.
Al Rosen, a former major league baseball player, formulated the following questions concerning the scope of parental responsibility and involvement in their child's sport:
- Can you listen patiently to your child and fully support her/his choice to participate or not to participate in youth sports?
- Can you entrust your child to the coach and take a back seat?
- Can you allow your child to act independently and assume responsibility for both success and failure?
- Can you keep losing as well as winning in perspective?
- Can you invest the time and effort to learn as much as possible about your child's sport?
- Can you set your expectations at a level commensurate with your child's cognitive and physical abilities without ever comparing her/him to others?
- Can you be your child's most devoted fan without ever turning into a fanatic?
Parents
who cannot reply to all of the above questions with a resounding "yes"
should not panic. No one is perfect. An honest answer to Al Rosen's
questions will help parents develop an awareness of their motivations
to become and stay involved in youth sports. To realize that a problem
exists is to make the first step on the road to a positive sport experience.
| The key role of educators. |
Running in your head Al Rosen's list of questions may serve as a substitute for elaborate "Codes of Conduct," "Silence on the Sidelines Days," "Parent Conduct Enforcers," as well as reduce the likelihood of severe sanctions and fines to be imposed on unruly parents. Recent trends confirm the key role of educators and mental health professionals involved with youth sports who can assist parents in managing their own and their children's problems (Kamm, 1998). Youth sport programs will greatly benefit from partnerships and close cooperation with local and national academic institutions and its expert faculty (Martinek & Parker, 2000). The rising threat of excessive parental involvement in youth sports can no longer be handled by well-meaning volunteers alone. It requires concerted efforts by parents, coaches, and educators.
"Carrying
the torch for less pressure and more perspective in youth programs may
not be a popular position. Those who demand more games, more wins, more
trophies, more travel and more of everything can talk the loudest and
sound convincing. It's up to all of us to have the courage to be just
as passionate on the side of balance (Wisconsin Interscholastic Athletic
Association, 2003)."
| References |
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and Entertainment Law Journal, 8(2), 253-292.
Arland, N. (2002, Mar/Apr). The problem with perfectionism. Coaching
Youth Sports. Retrieved December 18, 2003, from https://www.courseware.vt.edu/users/rstratto/CYSarchive/ParentsMar02.html.
Bach, G. (2002, October). Time out, for a change: A program that helps
reduce violence in youth sports programs. Parks and Recreation
(Ashburn, VA), 37(10), 54-55.
Bigelow, B., Moroney, T., & Hall, L. (2001). Just let the kids play:
How to stop other adults from ruining your children's fun and success
in youth sports. Deefield Beach, FL: Health Communications.
Burnett,
D.J. (1998, Nov/Dec). Attitude in youth sports: Parents set the tone.
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Butler, J. (1999, August). Jon Butler. The Executive Director of Pop
Warner football discusses the changing role of youth sports, the growth
of his organization and its events, and the troubling attitudes of today's
parents. SportsTravel (Marina-del-Rey, CA), 3(8), 26-27.
Buzby, J.H. (2000, Jan/Feb). Taking the fun out of play. Coaching
Youth Sports.Retrieved December 22, 2003, https://www.courseware.vt.edu/users/rstratto/CYSarchive/ParentsJan00.html
Coakley, J.J. (1992). Burnout among adolescent athletes: A personal
failure or social problem? Sociology of Sport Journal, 9, 271-285.
Crossman,
J.E. (1986). Spectator behavior at minor league hockey games. Perceptual
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Cumming, S.P., & Ewing, M.E. (2002, Spring). Parental involvement in youth sports: The good, the bad and the ugly! Spotlight on Youth Sports (East-Lansing, MI) 26(1), 1-5.
Engh, F. (1999). Why Johnny hates sports? Why organized youth sports are failing our children and what we can do about it: Putting the fun back in sports for boys and girls. New York, NY: Avery.
Enigk, M.E. (2002). A study on the nature and frequency of adult comments at Little League baseball games. Eugene, OR, Microform Publications, University of Oregon, 1 microfiche (72 fr.) .
Faucette, N., & Osinski, A. (1987). Adult spectator verbal behavior during a Mustang League world series. Journal of Applied Research in Coaching and Athletics, 2, 141-152.
Feigley, D.A. (1984). Psychological burnout in high-level athletes. The Physician and Sportsmedicine, 12, 109-119.
Fiore, D. K. (2003). Parental rage and violence in youth sports: How can we prevent "Soccer Moms" and "Hockey Dads" from interfering in youth sports and causing games to end in fistfights rather than handshakes? Villanova Sports and Entertainment Law Journal, 10(1), 103-129.
Frankl, D. (2003). Little League and varsity sports parenting. Kids First Soccer, Los Angeles, CA. Retrieved December 12, 2003, from http://www.kidsfirstsoccer.com/sport_parent.htm
Frankl,
D. (2002, January). Recruiting practices in youth sports: Who's winning?
SportaPolis (Tremelo) 6. Retrieved December 12, 2003, from
http://www.sports-media.org/Sportapolisnewsletter7.htm
Frenette, G. (1999). The parent trap. American Football Coach: Youth Issue, 65-67.
Gano-Overway, L.A. (2001, Fall). Creating positive experiences for youths: What parents can do to help. Spotlight on Youth Sports (East Lansing, MI), 25(3), 1-3.
Heinzmann, G.S. (2002, May). Parental violence in youth sports: Facts, myths and videotape. Parks and Recreation (Ashburn, VA), 37(3), 66-75.
Hellstedt. J. C. (1995). Invisible players: A family systems model. In S.M. Murphy (Ed.), Sport psychology interventions (pp. 117-146). Champaign IL: Human Kinetics.
Herbert, D.L. (2000, June). Youth sports and parental violence: Is there a solution? Sports, Parks and Recreation Law Reporter (Canton, OH), 14(1), 7-9.
Herbst, D. (2000, April). Child's play? Youth sports: It should be a piece of cake, right? Referee (Racine, WI), 25(4), 32-36.
Howe, B.
(2002, June, 4). Club tryouts. Down the Line (8). Retrieved December
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Nack, W., & Munson, L. (2000, July 24). Out of control: This rising tide of violence and verbal abuse by adults at youth sports events reached its terrible peak this month when one hockey father killed another. Sports Illustrated, 93(4), 86-94.
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Wolohan, J.T. (2002, May). The parent trap: The escalation of youth sports violence means facility owners must be more proactive. Athletic Business (Madison, WI), 26(5), 16,18-19.
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| Start the discussion: |
1. If competition in youth sports would not have been a matter of "life and death" to some parents, they would not have had the need to act like it were. What steps can be taken in order to shift the emphasis from "…more games, more wins, more trophies, more travel and more of everything…" to a more balanced perspective of youth sports?
2. Over-involved parents are often unaware of the deleterious effects their actions have on their child, their spouse, and the team. What can league administrators do to prepare adults to become effective sport parents?
3. The uncivil conduct by some adults has prompted league officials to implement elaborate "Codes of Conduct," enforce "Silence on the Sidelines Days," field "Parent Conduct Enforcers," and meet out severe sanctions, including expulsions from the league. While punishment has its uses, we need to ask "what positive steps can league administrators take in order to reduce the likelihood of parental misconduct in youth sports events?"?
4. How can
we protect the rights of children whose parents engage in offensive
conduct? Is it reasonable to tell abusive parents that they are no longer
welcome but their children are, if another child's parent involved with
the sport is willing to take the problem-parent kid "under one's
wing?" What are the legal ramifications of such an arrangement?
| How to get involved in the discussion ? |
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February 2004 - Dr. Joanne
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Guy Van Damme